The end of myself

One of my goals for this blog was to be a place of truth & transparency. I rarely sugar coat anything usually giving it clear and straight. With that, life has been a whirlwind lately. I shared about a year ago that "I get quiet when the world is spinning around me. I settle in my mind and start thinking of all of the time I've wasted. I think back on my actions and how I could have changed them, I praise God for the grace He gave me. I withdraw from the public eye and just try to keep myself together. That's where I'm at now. I'm in a quiet place of trying to keep up with my responsibilities and just trying to get through it. I'm clinging to God; knowing that at the end he will get the glory. Nothing else matters."

And you know what? It's the same thoughts that I've been having for the past few months now. While it seems at times that I have been in a fog, I have been clinging to God praying that He will deliver me and praising Him for the little bits of grace I've seen along the way.

During this last month I wrote this down "I always think I have reached the end of myself, but every time God wants to show me something he takes me to a deeper level of brokenness that hurts more than the last time."

This past week a bit of the fog has lifted and I am seeing God's grace and faithfulness. God has been faithful to carry me through every single time. Which again reminds me that, I need to be patient enough to wait for His perfect timing. I will share the full story at some point, but for now the story isn't complete and isn't ready to be written.